As much as I am thankful for our journey in Melbourne so far, and as much as I enjoy being here, there are moments when I reminisce on my life as it used to be.
A lot of people think that migrating is an easy thing to do. They believe that the grass is greener on the other side, and once the move is made, everything magically becomes better. Well, it doesn’t exactly work that way. Perhaps one day I’ll write more about the experience of migrating, but for now, what I want to say is, I do sometimes miss the life I had in Malaysia.
Besides my family and friends (whom I miss so very much you have no idea!), I also miss the jobs I used to have. I miss being on radio and TV. I miss my church and my ministries. I miss acting and hosting and singing and performing. I miss training and leading.
Sometimes I think back of those times with bittersweet feelings, and sometimes my heart actually aches.
But recently, a wise friend told me something that has so much wisdom and truth, and it gives me so much encouragement.
“A lot of times the environment and people can take away a lot of things from us. But if we see it clearly, we will realise that what is taken away, or rather, what has changed, is often external and not internal. What’s inside of you will always stay with you. You still have what it takes to do whatever you used to do, and even more, because it is your portion. It is your calling, grace and anointing. Nobody can take that away from you. Keep digging deep and keep believing in all that God has placed inside of you.”
Those words keep replaying in my mind and hold my soul up whenever I feel as though I have lost a big part of me by leaving life as I knew it.
It reminds me that although sometimes I feel as though I have given up a big chunk of myself, the truth is I will always be who I am. I can still do what I used to do, if I still want to do them. Better yet, I can do more than I can ever ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.
All in His timing. All in His plan.