Pink shirt pink pants

Amy is all about pink shirt, pink pants, pink everything these days. She refuses to let me dress her in anything else.

Actually, she has a lot of demands lately. And she is very stubborn and strong-willed. She also throws tantrums all the time, and screams at the top of her lungs. At times, she is purposely defiant. If I tell her not to do something, she would purposely do it, and quickly too.

I am exasperated. I try to think from her perspective. Perhaps she is jealous of Alistair? She needs time to adapt to having a baby brother? Plus, our move to Australia is a huge one. It is probably affecting her and she shows it through tantrums? And the weather is different, and now mama has less time for her because besides taking care of Alistair, mama also needs to cook and do housechores.

Some parenting articles also said that it’s normal for a 3-year-old to be defiant. They are learning how to have a mind of their own and to be assertive. They also throw tantrums because they do not know how to express themselves, and do not know how to control their emotions.

I have also read a lot of tips and advices on how to deal with these tantrums and outbursts and defiant actions. But sometimes, everything I have read just flies out the window.

Sometimes I wonder, why is my child like this? What am I doing wrong? How am I going to mother her, and her brother, properly? What kind of kids am I going to raise? Am I a bad mom?

Sometimes I just want to shut myself in my room and cry. And wish that I could be a carefree me again.

No sleepless nights. No nursing on demand. No constant planning and scheduling in my head. No constant worry over their safety. No constant wondering how I should deal with certain actions. No need to pick battles to fight throughout the day. No nagging. No scolding. No responsibilities over another two mini lives. I can just live my life as I want it. Carpe diem.

Then, I would feel bad for thinking these thoughts. Alexa would flash through my mind and I would be reminded about how blessed I am to have these two terrorising me.

It’s difficult now, but it will soon be over. Very soon, these two will grow out of this stage. Very soon, things will be better and easier. In fact, very soon, when they are all grown up and out in the world by themselves, I will miss this period.

No matter how crazily she drives me up the wall and makes me want to lose it, she still brings me so much joy at the end of the day. I mean, just look at how she’s posing for the camera above! Mind you, I did not tell her how to pose at all. She just sat on the step and I went trigger crazy. She totally nailed the fashion blogger poses haha.

No matter how naughty she is, she is still my daughter. I just need to take one day at a time, one tantrum at a time.

 

Love,

Natalie

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